What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
