We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
