Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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