Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
