Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
