R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
