dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
