I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
