careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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