I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
