Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
