dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
