"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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