I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
