spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
