you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
