What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
