for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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