According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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