I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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