i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
