Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
