I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
