we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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