Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
