I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
