i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
