UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize