Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize