just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
