I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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