I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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