Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
