This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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