you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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