i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
do nipples grow back?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
