had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
