I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
