Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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(907): View more from Alaska

my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up

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(214): View more from Texas

On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.

(1-214): View more from Texas

You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy

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(210): View more from Texas

yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday

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