it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
