did you get engaged???
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
