Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize