just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
