Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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