ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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