He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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