The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
