a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
