Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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