I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just google imaged poop.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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