Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
