I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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