I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't put those talents on a resume
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Damn victory sex feels great
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
