Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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