Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
