I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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