Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
